Life Advice #2 - Codependency

I will admit, I am someone who has struggled with being too codependent on my significant others. I’m not ashamed to say that, however, I know it’s something that I need to continue working on. I’ve come a long ways from being too codependent, but there’s always room for growth. It’s important to understand where your codependency stems from, so you can try to learn how to cope with it in healthy ways. 

It took some time for me to get to the root of it, but I finally understand why I get codependent within relationships. I don’t feel comfortable quite yet with sharing my reasoning, but now that I am aware of it, it’s easier for me to think about why I am feeling the things I’m feeling and how I can cope with it. 

Journaling about my feelings has helped me immensely. I don’t always know what to write about, but once I start writing about my feelings, it all just comes to me and the words spill out onto the page. Every time I take the time to journal and write down all of my feelings in that moment, I always end up feeling way better and like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. 

I also have been trying to put more time and energy into my hobbies. When I get sad or lonely and I feel like I need my partner at that very moment, I put on some music or one of my favorite shows and I either paint, draw or write. Sometimes just taking time and focusing on the things I love to do really helps ease my mind and gets rid of those thoughts. 

I noticed that on days where I had my time completely to myself, I wasn't using it in healthy ways. I was sitting around on my phone just waiting for a text message. Definitely not how anyone wants to spend their free time. I started to discipline myself more and only allowed myself to be on my phone for a little amount of time, and then I would find other things to do that were more productive. Now, when I'm alone for a while, instead of sitting around and waiting for a call or text, I do things that I enjoy, or I clean up my space. By doing these things, it keeps me busy so I don't get bored and just wait around. 

I do think that I still have a long ways to go, but I definitely have gotten better at not being so dependent on others. I don't rely on someone else to be my main source of happiness anymore because there are so many other things in life that make me so happy. I don't find myself waiting around for someone else to be available to talk to me because I can fill my time with a bunch of other stuff that brings me joy. I know I still have more growing to do, but I'm proud of the progress I've made so far.